pseudomonas: Bacterial conjugation (sex)
[personal profile] pseudomonas

(18:44:48) [redacted]: nooooooo fml
(18:44:52) [personal profile] pseudomonas: ?
(18:44:58) [redacted]: dog
(18:45:06) [personal profile] pseudomonas: ?
(18:45:06) [redacted]: her new favourite place to be during quickie sex
(18:45:11) [redacted]: is between [boyfriend]'s knees
(18:45:16) [personal profile] pseudomonas: hahahaha
(18:45:22) [redacted]: I thought the furry thing between my leg was HIS leg
(18:45:40) ***[personal profile] pseudomonas is cracking up here
(18:45:47) [redacted]: so not only have I just had sex with a dog's nose up my arsecrack, I now have a dog with jizz on her back
(18:46:17) [personal profile] pseudomonas: laughing too much. worried going to be sick
(18:47:47) [personal profile] pseudomonas: did you wash the dog?
(18:47:52) [redacted]: she doesn't like being washed
(18:48:12) [redacted]: I sort of wiped it a bit and she tried to bite me so I thought bugger that
(18:48:18) [redacted]: she can be a jizzy dog for all I care
(18:48:37) [personal profile] pseudomonas: what does [boyfriend] think about all this?
(18:48:39) [redacted]: she'll probably drive herself potty in the next few hours trying to twist herself round so she can lick it off
(18:48:48) [redacted]: HE KNEW SHE WAS THERE BUT HE DIDN'T WANT TO STOP
(18:49:13) [personal profile] pseudomonas: you might need to shut the door sometimes
(18:49:31) [redacted]: if you shut her out she scratches and whines and barks
(18:49:45) [personal profile] pseudomonas: so you have to let her join in?
(18:49:55) [redacted]: the trick is to give her a chewy, which she takes off to the other side of the bed
(18:50:04) [personal profile] pseudomonas: still, it counts as a threesome, so well done there
(18:50:15) [redacted]: but the bedroom stash of chewies hasn't been refilled
(18:50:22) [redacted]: things we need for sex: rawhide chews


.


(Yes, I got the consent of [redacted] to post this.)

Date: 2014-01-26 09:46 pm (UTC)
andrewducker: (Default)
From: [personal profile] andrewducker
That is _amazing_. I laughed a _lot_.

Date: 2014-01-27 12:04 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] tigerfort
Snerk. :)

Date: 2014-01-27 01:19 pm (UTC)
cheekbones3: (Default)
From: [personal profile] cheekbones3
Happily, our dogs aren't interested in such behaviour. If either of us started howling, it might be a different story...

Date: 2014-01-27 02:50 pm (UTC)
hatam_soferet: (Default)
From: [personal profile] hatam_soferet
metaquotes...

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pseudomonas: Dragon from BL manuscript of C14 French Ḥumash (Default)
pseudomonas

August 2014

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